Father where are you?

Born on a country floor in Tennessee, as I was told by my mother. I was never quite sure who my father was. I began life in Ridgely TN, raised by a family that I thought was my fathers who treated me like I was his. Some of my best memories were in that little town. But then questions came up as to who he was and I was shipped up north where my “real” father supposedly was and down south again. I would eventually end up staying up north. I would see my alleged father every once in a while. He even had the gall to let me stay with his family for a summer, I had so much fun. I wanted to stay with them, forever. I guess I wasn’t good enough. I would see my alleged father every once in a while. Like most of us who have fly by night fathers. I am at the point where I don’t know who my real father is and I don’t care. No, I will not be going on some talk show crying my eyes out about who my father is, I’m to mature to care about that right now. However, I have been thinking about the absence of fathers lately. Just as my daughter turned thirty last year I think I can count the number of times she has seen her father on one hand. That’s horrible! How can you skip out and not see your child. I know there may be some issues with the mother of your child but that is your child. If you don’t think so, go get a DNA test to make sure. Let me add that paying child support does not make you a father your presence is just as important, if not more. I know that we as young parents probably made some really bad decisions about life but at the same time we also created life and a lot of men just created it and left. I have several questions for those men. Do you not think about the children you made or do you just not care? Don’t you wonder if their doing okay? There are some stats that say children without their fathers in life tend not to do as well as children with a father’s in their life. Shouldn’t you be responsible for that life in some way? Especially the young girls. Would we have less teenage pregnancies if there were fathers in the home. Would young women make better choices in mates if they had a good example of how a man should treat a women. Would some of our young men, think about the choices they make if they had a role model to emulate? Would they treat women differently if they knew how? Rather than following the images on TV they would have a real example of how to treat a young lady. I think it would have made a difference in my life. In fact I know it would have. People say it’s never too late to do the right thing, I think in some cases it is. However, if you are a father out there and you haven’t seen your child for thirty years or so you may want to make an effort. It may change some things or maybe not. Because they may have some really heavy questions for you like, why did you leave, didn’t you think about me, didn’t you love me. At all.
PS
You absent fathers really need to watch how you treat your children. You never know, they may actually grow up to be a singer, doctor, lawyer, photographer or whatever they make up their minds to do. My “alleged” father actually said to me, you’ll never be anything in life because I had children so young. Ha! The jokes on him.
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Hurting people-hurt people--

I find that as I grow in the music industry I have quite a few critics. I never expected not to have any, it's part of our business and it's the business I love. I now know how some of the people I have followed for so many years feel ( on a very small scale). I read some of the comments people make about them and think. What a miserable life you must have to judge someone so harshly. You don't know the price they paid to get to where they are or the personal issues they may be facing that day. The day I read some of my comments two or my children where in the hospital, along with some other problems. It was a very hard day for me and took me several days to deal with it. But once I had my pity party and asked why are people so mean I came to this conclusion. From that day forward I will not let the negative freaks out there determine my happiness on that day. I will not stop pursuing my dreams just because you said no. If you don't like my music don't buy it don't listen to it. If you don't like me on TV don't watch me. Someone I really like in this world once said "hurting people, hurt people. I know that everyone is not going to like me I don't expect them to. But you don't have to insult, you don't have to so mean.

Now on to something more happier. I am going to chart in my blog starting soon some of my experiences in the Indie world of music I have some great opportunities coming up and I would like to share them. I realize that a lot of my blog has been about my family they are always going to be there and I will continue to pray for them. But it's time I really focused on slaying Goliath. In the next few weeks I will answer some of the questions I have been getting and some of the experiences I am having.

IT'S NEVER TO LATE UNTIL THEY THROW THE DIRT IN YOUR FACE!

Weak & Young, Depressed, Peace of Mind

I saw my daughter today. She is weak depressed and I think the only thing that keeps her going is her kids. I know from my research that heart patients have a lot of issues with depression. Her being a young heart patient makes it worse. There are many things I want to accomplish in life, singing writing talk show TV shows lots of things. However it saddens me when I have more energy than she does or the fact that she can't do certain things for her kids because she is to weak. I filled out a survey recently and the question was asked why do you want to succeed. I answered to help my family - mainly my daughter. To help buy better health care for her, to buy her a home that she does not have to worry about be evicted out of, a yard for the kids to play in. Peace of mind for her so that maybe if she has peace she can overcome the issues in her life. Her kids are some of the most helpful kids in the world, they know how to take care of her, and make sure she has what she needs. But they also need to be kids. So I'll add a private nurse or caregiver. It's funny how success is not just about life, but making life easier. I know if I keep going and take advantage of EVERY opportunity out there I will get there, my YES is out there. I must continue on and search and be available.

Health Care, Nasty, Mean & Spit

First, I want to thank all of you for your prayers and concern my daughter is doing okay. I find myself in a position that is unfamiliar to me politics & the health care bill. I consider myself an independent. I have voted both Democratics and Republicans. I find that both parties have great ideas. If they could merge somehow, it would be awesome. The problem that I have now, is with the Republicans. They are just down right nasty and mean they give credibility to what I heard when I was growing up. Republicans don't like black people, their rich, and don't care about anyone but themselves. At a certain age you get to decide, how you think, how you feel, how you vote, and I did. I make it a point to vote, I'm not a straight party lines kind of girl. I voted for who I thought could do the best job, be it Republican or Democrat. Right now I find myself not liking the Republican party. Why, because it never look so evil . They are so busy fighting Obama , it seems like their definite major purpose in life is to destroy him. It looks so evil that it scares me, it resembles the devil. The devil is also how the Republicans were described to me sometimes. I have never seen them act so child like. Are they mad because they didn't think of the idea, did the President not tell them that he would welcome any ideas his door was open. Are they mad because of the money. We still have a war we' re paying for. Did they raise this much hell over Bush's war. No, because he was Republican. No ones getting killed, no one is going to knock on your door and saying your son or daughter has died because of this health care bill. No one is going to lose a limb, or have to be treated for depression. No mother is going to lose her husband nor a husband his wife. The decision that Bush made to go to war has cost us in more ways than just money. We never found those "weapons of mass destruction" and Osama is still on the lose. Then of course the evils of Rush Limbaugh chimed in. Which makes things even worse, and to think I actually liked him at one point in my life. If America is so bad, run for President, if you think you can do it better, go for it. All I hear is how screwed up the country is. I will believe this as long as I live, if you don't like our country GET OUT! I have lost respect for the Republican party. Spitting on people, saying the "N" word is going way to far. It's health insurance not war. Did you spit on the people who approved these senseless wars. No, because some of you would be spitting on yourself. I gave the Republican party the benefit of the doubt, but now it seems more racial than anything. It looks like the "evil white men" versus the black man. I wouldn't doubt because of their hate they may try to have our President killed. What I see right now is hate. Hate is very strong word because it comes with emotions that people can't control, which makes this situation more freighting than ever. I don't know what the solutions to Americans problems are. I'm just a little colored girl from Ridgely TN, who was told when the President speaks you listen, watch and you respect. Even though you didn't voted for him. Republicans have no respect for our President, as do a of lot people. To me their just a bunch of crazy people gone wild, acting like children who had their candy taken away. I don't really care about taxes mine have gone up so much over the last couple of years I can't keep up with them. However, I still live in America, the country that so many people risk their lives to get in, so that they can have a better one. So what will I do? Pray.



I PRAY THAT AMERICA WILL SOMEHOW FIND IT'S COMMON GROUND - WE' RE NOT ALWAYS GOING TO AGREE WITH OUR FELLOW MAN - BUT WE DON'T HAVE TO DISRESPECT HIM. MY PRAYER IS THAT WE CAN SIT DOWN AND TALK TO EACH OTHER LIKE HUMAN BEINGS- PILATE SAT DOWN WITH JESUS -WHY CAN'T WE DO THE SAME



The bottom line;

My worse day in America, is a good day somewhere else in the world.

My name is Youlanda Burnett, that's my opinion and it matters to me. Have a great day!



http://www.youlanda.org/

Depression Medication Value

I have entered a whole new world over the past week or so. The world of depression & anxiety. That's the world my daughter is in right now because of the events of the past year or so It seems it all has taken it's toll on her and this is where she is. To me, it does not look like a good place to be, it looks lonely, dark and gray. She was highly medicated and lethargic, but got better after other medications were given. To deepen the depression she was told there were other problems with her heart and possibility more surgery. Which means more depression. There are several things that concern me. One, she was given medication for the anxiety in the hospital but none to take at home, which means she is going to crash really hard, soon. I do believe she was told the she couldn't get it because it's not something Medicaid would pay for. So what is she suppose to do? Go crazy end up back the the hospital again. Oh, let me continue. She was denied her disability benefits because she was not "sick enough". Yet there was a gentlemen in her group session who said he was not really sick, he was just doing it to get his check, because as he said "times are hard"& once again she came in contact with a totally disrespectful medical employee. Some of you look down on low income people and I don't have a clue why? The people that you look down on and don't want to treat have family members who want them to be okay. They may not have money but they are still human beings with feelings. I wonder, what would Obama's health plan do for people like my daughter, who need medication, surgery and face so many other health issues. That was just my thought. I have never been one to depend on my government to fix anything. So I will have to find a way. A way to pay for her meds so that she can be okay so that she can just "cope" with life and all it's disrespectful, uncaring, judging, I don't give a dam about you "humans" in it. If you loose your jobs, paychecks and insurance. You are only a couple of paychecks away from being low income. Judge not that person, that person could be you. I am rambling, my thoughts are every where those of you reading this please forgive me. Oh! one more thing. So that health care professional don't email me as asking, why are you bashing us, let me say this. I was going to church, turned a corner and saw two young people standing outside in the cold with their baby boy. I turned around and asked them did they need a ride and what happened. Apparently, a police officer had their car towed for legal reasons, so they had to get out, stand out in the cold and try to reach someone to come and get them and their baby. The officer did not offer to take them somewhere warm with the baby or anything. He was more concerned about the car, than the lives that were in it. Y'all have a great day! I am now jumping off my soap box.

http://www.youlanda.org

Why? Fear

After returning from the hospital from visiting my daughter. I found myself in a rare state of mind. Asking God why as the alligator tears ran down my cheek, and my glasses fogged up. She looked so depressed and medicated. I had to ask God why, why, why? I have yet to receive my answer. Why didn't he pick me, why is he taking her thru this . Is there some lesson to learn. . I know I will receive my answer, until then I pray. I pray that her heart will be healed, I pray that her depression will disappear. I pray that she has no fear, I know she does we all do. Even thou God tells us to fear not, but we are not God and fear does grab a hold of our minds. Our duty is to fight, believe and not give up even when everything's not going quite right. Things do work out. But at the moment you are going thru it, it all seems hopeless and unfair. You are lost in tears and pain. Thankful for each and every day that you have. Somehow the trivial things in life just don't matter. What matters, is life itself. http://www.youlanda.org/

Congestive heart failure at 30....

That was the diagnosis of my daughter today--WOW!! My first thoughts was what does that mean? Is she going to die. I just stood for a moment and cried and asked, why not me. So many thoughts go thru your mind, what about the kids? I stopped and fell into a state of confusion & depression I am so lost. Until I did what most of us do. Went on the Internet and the ultimate in our family --called my aunt and she explained it to me. It made me feel a little better knowing she went thru the same thing a while ago. But not really, you still carry the death demons in your head and the what ifs. That 's when you pray...That's all I have left today--and maybe a song.

Low income & no respect...

My daughter called me today crying that a doctor has disrespected her. Asking her crazy questions like, are you doing drugs, why did you have so many kids, I can't help you go to another doctor or are you a drug addict because her body has grown immune to some of her pain killers. Or having to pee in Dixie cup at the doctors office or being told, I could be some where else on a Saturday rather than seeing you. I guess that's what happens when your low income. Just a little back ground for all of you who wonder. My daughter chose not to abort any of her children, she works (or a least she did before all this other crap happened in her life). She has support from their fathers and she loves them more than some mothers that I see that have everything. She wants to open her own business, be a photographer. She takes her kid to, basketball, volleyball, tutoring even when she doesn't feel well, which is almost everyday. Doctors Chourdy & Alvi and all you high and mighty educated idiot doctors, ceo's and anyone who has ever disrespected my daughter or anyone who is just trying to do the best they can with what they have. Who are you to look down on and judge others. How many abortions did some of you that are reading this have. How many of you take care of your children. I have been asked why are you having a fundraiser don't you own a record company. Just cause you have music out there does not mean people are buying. Trust me people if I had it she would have the best care in the world. One day I will, and I will remember those who snug their noses up at me and her. If you don't want to give, don't give. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect, young, old, black, white, pink, purple or yellow. It shouldn't matter where you live how many kids you have, your background rich or poor. That's part of what is wrong with the world today, we don't respect each other as much as we did "back in the day". I don't have to like what you do, what you say, who marry who you love, or who you worship. But respect is something we should have for each other and we don't. We wonder why things are so screw up? My prayer, is that we find a doctor who will treat her regardless of her background or income, someone who will listen to her story and give a hand up not a hand out. I'm not sure if there's someone out who will. Trying to find someone who will listen or care is like trying to find a needle in a hay stack.

My daughters hands....I Remember

I looked at my daughters hands today so tiny and so petite, and healthy. It's hard to believe that a year ago she was in ICU recovering from heart surgery. I remember them telling me how she would look, but nothing prepares you for that site. I remember how cold and dry they were, I remember the blankets the tubes the wires and the nightmares she would have. I remember her asking, why? I remember the day she came to my house to stay, I remember the day she went home, as I sat on her bed and cried. I see her scar and I wonder why, only God knows. I looked at my daughters hands today and I was glad to see they were okay.

One year later 30 year old coronary by pass patient still struggles...

Seems there is no end to the pain one has to go thru when your a low income heart patient. You can't get the medications you need, no one listens to you and a they label you a drug addict because your system has grown immune to pain killers. I am always at a loss of words when my daughter calls me, I often cry because I cannot help her as much as I would like to. So I pray, I pray, that someday the drug company who manufactured the drug that caused her rare heart condition pays. I pray that she gets her family back together, I pray that we find a doctor who will not push her to the side as if she does not matter, I pray that she has peace and is able to heal mentally and physically from the pain that she has been thru. I pray, I pray, I pray, this WILL happen one day.

Amazing Young Lady

If there were a word that would describe my daughter it would be Amazing. The last year has been filled with nothing but setbacks, heartbreak, suicide, eviction, crazy baby daddies and some substandard doctors. She is a very strong young lady and even though she’s going thru these things in her life she finds time to worry about other people and their children. It all started with a simple headache which led to heart surgery and so on and so on, you can read about it in my previous blogs. We’ve tried in every way to tell her story to the media, but I guess it just wasn’t interesting enough. But balloon boy, a young girl who can’t stop sneezing, and all the other unworthy stories our media thrust down our throats are. Don’t get me wrong, I know that other people have their heartaches and frustrations but this is mine, fight for yours. In spite of all the crap that’s been tossed at her she keeps right on going. Even though the children live in separate households for the moment, she continues to be that “old school” mother that so many of our children lack these days. Her days are often filled driving completely around the city trying to get them to basketball & volleyball tutoring, and all the other activities they’re involved in. But those of us who are believers know that God gives you double for your trouble. All things that seem bad work out for our good.
What’s really ironic, the man who issued the eviction of her family and is being honored for the “Great” things he has done for the community. Of course our local newspaper printed that story, but not her’s, go figure
There is a fund set up for her and her family @ www.maylayent.com if you would like to help just go to the blog spot page. Thank you.