Depression Medication Value

I have entered a whole new world over the past week or so. The world of depression & anxiety. That's the world my daughter is in right now because of the events of the past year or so It seems it all has taken it's toll on her and this is where she is. To me, it does not look like a good place to be, it looks lonely, dark and gray. She was highly medicated and lethargic, but got better after other medications were given. To deepen the depression she was told there were other problems with her heart and possibility more surgery. Which means more depression. There are several things that concern me. One, she was given medication for the anxiety in the hospital but none to take at home, which means she is going to crash really hard, soon. I do believe she was told the she couldn't get it because it's not something Medicaid would pay for. So what is she suppose to do? Go crazy end up back the the hospital again. Oh, let me continue. She was denied her disability benefits because she was not "sick enough". Yet there was a gentlemen in her group session who said he was not really sick, he was just doing it to get his check, because as he said "times are hard"& once again she came in contact with a totally disrespectful medical employee. Some of you look down on low income people and I don't have a clue why? The people that you look down on and don't want to treat have family members who want them to be okay. They may not have money but they are still human beings with feelings. I wonder, what would Obama's health plan do for people like my daughter, who need medication, surgery and face so many other health issues. That was just my thought. I have never been one to depend on my government to fix anything. So I will have to find a way. A way to pay for her meds so that she can be okay so that she can just "cope" with life and all it's disrespectful, uncaring, judging, I don't give a dam about you "humans" in it. If you loose your jobs, paychecks and insurance. You are only a couple of paychecks away from being low income. Judge not that person, that person could be you. I am rambling, my thoughts are every where those of you reading this please forgive me. Oh! one more thing. So that health care professional don't email me as asking, why are you bashing us, let me say this. I was going to church, turned a corner and saw two young people standing outside in the cold with their baby boy. I turned around and asked them did they need a ride and what happened. Apparently, a police officer had their car towed for legal reasons, so they had to get out, stand out in the cold and try to reach someone to come and get them and their baby. The officer did not offer to take them somewhere warm with the baby or anything. He was more concerned about the car, than the lives that were in it. Y'all have a great day! I am now jumping off my soap box.

http://www.youlanda.org

Why? Fear

After returning from the hospital from visiting my daughter. I found myself in a rare state of mind. Asking God why as the alligator tears ran down my cheek, and my glasses fogged up. She looked so depressed and medicated. I had to ask God why, why, why? I have yet to receive my answer. Why didn't he pick me, why is he taking her thru this . Is there some lesson to learn. . I know I will receive my answer, until then I pray. I pray that her heart will be healed, I pray that her depression will disappear. I pray that she has no fear, I know she does we all do. Even thou God tells us to fear not, but we are not God and fear does grab a hold of our minds. Our duty is to fight, believe and not give up even when everything's not going quite right. Things do work out. But at the moment you are going thru it, it all seems hopeless and unfair. You are lost in tears and pain. Thankful for each and every day that you have. Somehow the trivial things in life just don't matter. What matters, is life itself. http://www.youlanda.org/

Congestive heart failure at 30....

That was the diagnosis of my daughter today--WOW!! My first thoughts was what does that mean? Is she going to die. I just stood for a moment and cried and asked, why not me. So many thoughts go thru your mind, what about the kids? I stopped and fell into a state of confusion & depression I am so lost. Until I did what most of us do. Went on the Internet and the ultimate in our family --called my aunt and she explained it to me. It made me feel a little better knowing she went thru the same thing a while ago. But not really, you still carry the death demons in your head and the what ifs. That 's when you pray...That's all I have left today--and maybe a song.

Low income & no respect...

My daughter called me today crying that a doctor has disrespected her. Asking her crazy questions like, are you doing drugs, why did you have so many kids, I can't help you go to another doctor or are you a drug addict because her body has grown immune to some of her pain killers. Or having to pee in Dixie cup at the doctors office or being told, I could be some where else on a Saturday rather than seeing you. I guess that's what happens when your low income. Just a little back ground for all of you who wonder. My daughter chose not to abort any of her children, she works (or a least she did before all this other crap happened in her life). She has support from their fathers and she loves them more than some mothers that I see that have everything. She wants to open her own business, be a photographer. She takes her kid to, basketball, volleyball, tutoring even when she doesn't feel well, which is almost everyday. Doctors Chourdy & Alvi and all you high and mighty educated idiot doctors, ceo's and anyone who has ever disrespected my daughter or anyone who is just trying to do the best they can with what they have. Who are you to look down on and judge others. How many abortions did some of you that are reading this have. How many of you take care of your children. I have been asked why are you having a fundraiser don't you own a record company. Just cause you have music out there does not mean people are buying. Trust me people if I had it she would have the best care in the world. One day I will, and I will remember those who snug their noses up at me and her. If you don't want to give, don't give. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect, young, old, black, white, pink, purple or yellow. It shouldn't matter where you live how many kids you have, your background rich or poor. That's part of what is wrong with the world today, we don't respect each other as much as we did "back in the day". I don't have to like what you do, what you say, who marry who you love, or who you worship. But respect is something we should have for each other and we don't. We wonder why things are so screw up? My prayer, is that we find a doctor who will treat her regardless of her background or income, someone who will listen to her story and give a hand up not a hand out. I'm not sure if there's someone out who will. Trying to find someone who will listen or care is like trying to find a needle in a hay stack.

My daughters hands....I Remember

I looked at my daughters hands today so tiny and so petite, and healthy. It's hard to believe that a year ago she was in ICU recovering from heart surgery. I remember them telling me how she would look, but nothing prepares you for that site. I remember how cold and dry they were, I remember the blankets the tubes the wires and the nightmares she would have. I remember her asking, why? I remember the day she came to my house to stay, I remember the day she went home, as I sat on her bed and cried. I see her scar and I wonder why, only God knows. I looked at my daughters hands today and I was glad to see they were okay.

One year later 30 year old coronary by pass patient still struggles...

Seems there is no end to the pain one has to go thru when your a low income heart patient. You can't get the medications you need, no one listens to you and a they label you a drug addict because your system has grown immune to pain killers. I am always at a loss of words when my daughter calls me, I often cry because I cannot help her as much as I would like to. So I pray, I pray, that someday the drug company who manufactured the drug that caused her rare heart condition pays. I pray that she gets her family back together, I pray that we find a doctor who will not push her to the side as if she does not matter, I pray that she has peace and is able to heal mentally and physically from the pain that she has been thru. I pray, I pray, I pray, this WILL happen one day.